Facebook Ads Are Making Me Insecure

I love Facebook. It's been good to me for years. We've had problems in the past, but overall, it's easy to use and pleasant on the eyes. It also keeps me connected to people who I never see with out all the commitment of phone calls, emails, or visits.

Aside from allowing be to be socially lazy, I've decided that FB's ad algorithm is starting to irritate me. Irritate me worse than my nutty Aunt Esther. Here are a few examples:

Don't Worry Anne, You're Not Fat. You Just Need to Diet and Exercise -
This is famously quoted by my mother, who's well-known for picking holes into my self-esteem. I've come to the age where I'm a bit hardier about taking flack from her and my aunts about my weight, but to hear it from Facebook too? Thanks a lot. Jerks. It's bad enough that I have a hoard of Asian women from a 3rd world country with weight standards set in the 1960's on my back about this. Way to salt the wound.




Are you self-conscious about your face? Because you should be.
As if an acne-afflicted adolescence wasn't enough to scar you for life, either emotionally or physically, there's nothing like an ad campaign tailored to your age group and gender to make you feel good about yourself. I have my aunts hocking bars of Clinique SEVERE Acne Prevention Soap at me, my mother claiming that I'll be lucky to find someone who'll look beyond my ugly mug, and random family friends pushing Acutane so that I may one day have a shot at happiness. Fabulous. Good thing I have the hide and complexion of a rhino to survive these criticisms.


Will you ever get married? We're concerned that you're getting old.
So the other day my mother tells me about how my father is growing concerned that I will never marry as I am "getting a little old." In fact, my tactful mother has mentioned how she's always thought of me as "difficult to marry." What I don't get is that I've always been in monogamous relationships, the last one being 5 years long. That said, they're hoping that my current relationship will work out, as shown by their zeal to accept my boyfriend into our "group" ("family" is such a strong word), often showering him with gifts and unwanted money. To my credit, I wouldn't say that I'm THAT low on the marry-ability scale, but they're my parents and thus have bizarre standards. My aunts on the other hand have been forthright about what they want, stating: "It's nice that you want to get an education, but the real reason why you're in college is for your Mrs degree. Don't get the PhD or you'll never get married." To escape all this, I check Facebook to see who some of my real friends are and low and behold, I get a slew of engagement ring ads. So thanks Facebook for nagging me just as much as my traditional family members.

For the Dudes in House, Check Out the Asian Ladies
I don't have photo evidence of this one, but I've heard this happen to more than one source. Those being both my current boyfriend and an ex of mine. Apparently, thank to having dated me, they receive ads to "Chat with Single Asian Ladies," "Find Interracial Relationships," and "Search for Asian Singles Now." So, not only is Facebook singling me out for my gender, it's targeting the guys I date on the basis of my race. I'm not sure where this falls on the scale of morality, but I feel like it's crossing a lot of personal boundaries for me. Thus, on one hand, they're targeting ads to make me concerned about getting married, while on the other, they're pitching new ways to replace me in my current and past relationships. Thanks for nothing.

See this Feministing post on the same topic: Hands Off My Self-Esteem (Thanks Half Awake)

UPDATE:

Picture of Racially Targeted Ads


















I'm not sure what this means, but I don't like it.